For those that don’t know, my mother unexpectedly passed away a few months ago. She had just begun her second bout with cancer after being cancer-free for nearly two years. Unfortunately she didn’t get to finish the battle as she came down with severe pneumonia… and it struck fast. She was fine on Friday, went to the hospital on Saturday, and was gone on Sunday.
I never planned to post about it, but I recently received a card in the mail from a longtime friend that touched me deeply (I covered the names in case she didn’t want me to post the card). And, considering the attention that my art is starting to receive, I felt now was an appropriate time to share about my mom.
Since her passing I’ve reflected a lot about my life and what’s important to me. Through that process I realized, among other revelations, that something significant was missing. Something that had played a rather large role throughout my life, but had been absent for quite some time: my art.
In fact, until just recently, I could count on one hand the number of times I sat down to draw over the past 8+ years. MORE THAN EIGHT YEARS. I almost feel ashamed when I think about how long it has been – especially considering how much joy my art brought my mom.
She was always my biggest fan, and her eyes lit up every time I showed her a new piece – even if that drawing wasn’t even particularly good. To her, it didn’t matter how “good” it was; she supported me regardless.
Although I miss her dearly, I’ve never been the type of person to wallow in my own sorrows while thinking about what I could/should have done differently. After all, positive outcomes are rarely born from the womb of rumination. Instead, I decided to channel that energy back into something productive, and start drawing again.
Over the past month I rediscovered my love for art. For drawing. For challenging myself to create something I’m not even sure I can pull off. As a result, I feel like I’m learning to draw all over again, and it’s exciting. I’m seeing the world around me through a completely new lens, and I’m taking my art in new, unexplored directions.
I enjoy taking a blank sheet of paper and a pencil, the simplest of tools, and creating something that elicits an emotional reaction from the viewer. To bring a smile to someone’s face – even if it’s just for a brief moment. I love that moment. I spend many hours scribbling on paper for THAT moment.
New beginnings often bloom in the garden of tragedy, and I’m excited to see where this unforeseen journey leads. I wish my mom was here to see my art now. She’d be proud. Actually, she IS proud. In fact, I know somewhere she is smiling.